she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
