no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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