i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize