very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
