THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
