What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think my moral compass just broke
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