While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hippo gnu deer
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
