The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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