the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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