if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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