so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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