So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
