I want to stick my p in your. b.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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