he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
