I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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