Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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