Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
