youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
