So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
