Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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