At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
this will be a night to untag.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
