What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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