some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just pee around me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
