Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize