don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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