i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're a waste of cheezeits
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
