The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
