Your mouth is God's brothel.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
