Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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