I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
