Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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