Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
