Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
