Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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