I'm going to jail i love you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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