If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
