He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
