sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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