nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
