That's when you crack a 10am beer
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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