I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
