in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
