Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
