i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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