this boner is exhausting
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
