Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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