Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
