3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
