Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
its liver damage thursday
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize