Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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