She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
