But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
