I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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