Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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