My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
