i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize