He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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