I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
