They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
