Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
