mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
