I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize