Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My life is pants optional.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
