the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
